Teeth In The Grass

I'm not as afriad as i used to me. I am reminded of the Lord's constant and consistant- right here with me. He is my protector. BREATHE. That is so wonderful. My protector. I realize i haven't been trusting him as much recently, worrying and what not. Worry moves in like a disease. All I have to do is keep my eyes on you, Jesus, all i have to do.
Well, i'm going to sit down with some tea or something yummy and figure out what to do for this worship set on Saturday. I have some idea. I'm not that afraid of how the set will go, just mostly afraid that the whole retreat won't be so fun for certain people that i kinda sorta made come. it'll be amazing anyway i think.
I love the community. Community meals. Community quiet. Community loud. Community laughter. I love the nights i've spent there, laughing until two in the morning with interns and friends and candles. oh-so-lovely.
I am an effortless blogger. mmm. so far at least.

"darlin' defied,
i should have lied
when i still had the chance
'cause you know me far too well for that now.

darlin' decide
if you wanna waste your life
because if you do
i wanna waste mine with you."
-2/24/09
(not how i feel now-

oh. annnnnnnddddd-
"Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy- even precarious. That is how is should be." -Sarah Young

(as in- TRUST.) :)

Perpendicular and Parallel (People)

The past couple of weeks have been super duper full of newness, in situations especially, and some confusion. Some frustration. Peace. Joy.
I feel like I'm in a place where if I tried to retrace my steps I would find no bridge. I just can't go back to the way things were. But I can pull away if I get the word. I feel like I'm doing what God wants me to do, though not well. Far from perfectly. It's so good to realize that. So good. I am not perfect. But I want to do things His way.
And since I feel like I'm actually waging war, pressing, pushing, fighting, I think that in these kinda situations and places-growth. I am trying to be careful, to gaurd my heart. I had a really good conversation about that a couple days ago. I need to be aware of what is going on in my own heart. Be aware of where I am leaning, be aware of hinderances, be aware of distractions, i believe this. I want a pure heart. And clean hands, lips. I want to be innocent, but I want to be wise. I don't wanna to just give into things because it's more comfortable than fighting.
I am the Lord's. No matter where I go, I am the Lord's. No matter the mistakes, I am His. I choose Him. I want to be sealed. The end. It is decided. I am His, He is mine, and that settles it. Forever. Completely.

Now, time for a silly song:

"I am a street, you are a street
we're parallel lines- we never meet,
just sit side by side, wondering why.
I think I know..."