waiting for sayray.

duodenum!!

Learning

((---You are jealous for me and want nothing put before You in my life. I submit my will. My weakness. My passions. To You. I don't want to put my desires before Yours. So much. My eyes- be on You. My heart- no idols. ))

Obey, looking at it as one step at a time. Otherwise, I am overwelmed.
I want to obey my parents, and my Jesus. I cry out for help.

I've gotten this picture in my head, of a millstone. God is grinding me. Not grinding me down into little powder thrown into the wind. But grinding me stronger. Situations that press me to trust & press closer to his chest. He is tender too, & kind.

T R U S T. i am realizing, "I'M NOT GOD! WOAH!" for real though, i keep pressing myself to come to resoloutions and decisions and just to figure everything out. The latter i can't do, the first two i don't need to do right now- in multiple situations. There is so much peace (at first i typed 'peach' ha!) in giving everything up to him and leaning on him, instead of my own understanding. My own understanding cannot hold me up.

Hey! I could get dreads and percings and dress artistic-like..but...my identity and security must befound in God, not that..not that at all.

"Instead, become beautiful doing something beautiful for God." -The Message. :)

"I love you LORD
and I lift my voice
to worship you
oh my soul, rejoice.

Take joy my king
in what you hear
may it be a sweet, sweet sound in your ear."

-some wonderful writer.

ukulele songs at 3am that i won't want here when i wake up..

"you pluck the words right from my lips
and like the little gray stones that you skip
they all end up in tall glass jars
that line the shelves
that line the walls
of you heart.

on the heavily gaurded walls of your heart,
i saw too much of me in the dark

i painted you up like a house,
but you only left a tiny charcol mark
on me.

you begin at the end-
would you,
start at the start,
start at the start
for me.

hey, dear,
that's not the way it works out here
i have every right to avoid the fight
hey, dear,
that's not the way it works out here
i have every right to deny your eyes.

it's bright and clear
if you listen hard enough to hear.."

nonperks.

"all i have to do
is keep my eyes on you, Jesus." -Brandom Willett

I'm set to run againist your wind
as it presses againist my skin
you hold me up, you hold me up

no- it's not enough to fight You anymore. not anymore.

And I'm set to run aground again
as your waves break againist my skin
you pull me up, you pull me up

no- i don't want to fight You anymore. anymore.

Done.

I'm not sure why simple things exlode into such trendous big...explosions. for me. They trigger the let out of baggage i've been caring.
My patience is wax ing while my tolerence is wane ing.
My eyes are reajusting their focus back to where they should be and everything else dims so easily at times. When my thoughts flip back to the same old pages and i toss the same old ideas around in my head i'm reminded, i've already read those chapters and we're done. I've realized alot of things i wish i would've realized sooner before i acted. because today i'm ready to be done. i want to make music!

right now my curtians are reflecting on this computer sceen, it's quite an annoying thing.

I like plaid and v-necks and rings and complicated things. I'm ready to make friends with lots of artist people. I want to be surrounded by them for some reason, i feel most at home around those. sometimes. I want to go to fortmill.

OH MANNN. I feel God aligning my will with his- i want that. I don't mean, just his will in my life, i mean, his desires, love for those he loves...

plus.
he is risen indeed. WOOOOO.
today.

Likeness of Jesus- Jonathan David Helser
GOOD ONE.

Waging War- Shane & Shane- 46 plays.

Best Thing Ever

9th Grade


&now

Overwelmed= it pushes me to press closer to his chest.

"You know me
i want to know you too
and in your eyes
be found beautiful.

and i
have tried
all night
to make you want me
to make me worth your time

but- you already love me
you already do
you already want me
it's already true."

I am at this point were everything is overwelming and i just can't handle it. It's so beautiful, it pushes me to turn my gaze to the Lord, my provider and helper, my sustainer. I am in this ridiculous war to earn Jesus, to earn grace, to prove to him i'm worth it, something good, something impressive. To lean on my own ability and not his.

ha.

It doesn't work. I need him. I need him. Jesus is my righteousness.

Overwelmed pushes me to press closer to his chest.
Overwelmed pushes me to press closer to his chest.

So really, it's a gift. All these aches and pains are what i asked for. To know you, to be closer, to be everything you dreamed me up to be.

blog blog. write write.

THE OCEAN AND THE TIDE
ARE MAKING MUSIC IN THE NIGHT
AND IT'S A BATTLE I CAN FIGHT
BUT NEVER WIN
ALONE, WAGING WAR AGANIST MY SIN.
i need.

Sometimes i want to just sit around with alot of tattooed periced-up muscian kids who wear plaid and tie dye, make art and music and get to know Jesus better with them (aka- ZHOP goers!). Those are the kinda people who catch my eye at the mall. except that the ones at the mall are probably on drugs and whatnot...but anyhow, the creativity can be so beautiful.

I like Shane&Shane.
Waging War: 41 plays
all by me. :)